Tsurugi Kyousuke and the Stupidest Idea Ever
by Peanut Products
Summary: Stupidest probably wasn't a word, nor most of the things he said, but that's the kind of smarts that got him into this.


Winking out of existence seemed like a good choice right about then.

This was weird, he was weird, and everything he had planned up until now suddenly seemed like a very bad idea.

But now here he stood in front of a door, and for the very first time, Tsurugi Kyousuke wished he'd actually just gone to class.

* * *

It was a month ago. Second semester had just started, and the Raimon soccer club were able to meet up again, though it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other every day of summer vacation. The sun was still hot, the students were tired, and what Tsurugi wouldn't have given to sleep in just one more day. Despite a new soccer season starting, even he would rather have stayed at home.

Not stayed at _home_, really. He'd spent his days with Tenma and the team, chatting away and playing soccer at the park. But the main reason he didn't want summer to end was because of the captain.

Shindou-senpai and he had been... _closerthanfriends_ since around the beginning of summer. A thing had happened, and then another thing, and then, well... yeah. Things had happened and he was happy and things were great and good lord could he just shut up? Just thinking about it was making him lose both his physical and mental composure, he was sure anyone could tell.

At the time, it had seemed weird to Tsurugi. He _was _the kouhai, after all, and though "seniority doesn't matter on the soccer pitch", this was most definitely not the soccer field, but to tell the truth, he wished it was. He was far more familiar with the ball than being a sociable person. He had spent most of his life working for Fifth Sector, after all, and his only social skill was lying and sneaking around. And he didn't know much, but people probably didn't like that. His brother didn't. Tenma didn't. And most of all, Shindou-senpai didn't.

At first, it was fun to toy with Tenma, especially on that fateful first day of school. He had such enthusiasm, such determination. But monotony had set in, and he became more of an annoyance than someone to laugh at.

But there was someone else he met almost immediately afterwards: Shindou-senpai. 'Captain' at the time- he never got old. Tsurugi thought he was stupid and pathetic, and even now he liked to laugh at him. It was hilarious, but Tsurugi felt a little shameful that he acted like a schoolgirl in love. Which he wasn't. Mostly.

He had no idea how it happened, how anything happened, and that brought him back to the present.

Here he was, standing, having wasted 3 minutes just narrating to himself. He was really stupid sometimes, and Tsurugi knew for a fact it wasn't just because he didn't listen to the teacher.

Peeping through the window crack, he saw the inside of the classroom. He wasn't supposed to be here for at least a year. It was the second-years' floor, and just being here could get him suspended. Well, skipping class too, but that's an everyday occurence.

Shindou-senpai was writing diligently. Tsurugi suspected that was complete bullshit. He watched as Kirino whispered something to the captain. They snickered under their breath. Wow. Tsurugi was consumed by envy and an unfathomable urge to keep watching. So he did.

"I'm going to the restroom now," the teacher said. Her eyes glared at the class like a piece of gravel. (a.k.a. no one even cared) "If a single one of you get up or start talking, the entire class will be punished. Got that?"

Ms. GravelEyes turned her daggers towards a bland boy sitting in the top row, and her gaze instantly softened. _Teacher's pet,_ Tsurugi instantly recognized. The teacher spoke again, and her voice was softer than humanly possible. "Manadeshi-kun, please watch over the class to make sure they do as I say."

Pet-kun nodded. "I won't let anything happen!"

"Great. I must really be going now."

Tsurugi almost snickered as the teacher started to come his way.

Oh.

Wait.

He hadn't thought about that.

Tsurugi realized just how much time he had wasted and how much deeper he had dug his own grave.

He glanced around for a hiding spot, and like any horror movie, there was none. And like all scary stories, he braced himself for the main fright of the evening as the Gravel Queen took step after inevitable step. He really didn't want to be caught in the hall with a bouquet of flowers- oh yeah, he forgot about those, great- especially in front of most of the Raimon team.

There were two choices: run, and maybe escape- or stand his ground, and face the wrath of the almighty Peer Pressure and embarrassment. Tsurugi was no coward, and he was foolish, too- awesome, a perfect match for the latter.

Or maybe there was another option.

_I'm a genius for thinking up this one! Wow, I must be the smartest person on the planet. _The momentary flare of sarcasm died almost instantly. But the idea was still there.

_Shut up,_ Tsurugi thought angrily. _I don't need your advice, just shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut_

The door opened.

Tsurugi stood face-to-face with Her Authority. They looked at each other. She looked about ready to explode, both temper and bladder. He had no choice now.

Tsurugi's heart stopped as he walked in, and felt he had committed some great sin. It must be the aura in here. Haha, you know, closed windows are bad for you, you should really let in some air...

Pet-kun simply gaped at him, a mirror image of everyone else in the class. Shindou-senpai simply stared at him, almost... laughing? Oh hell no, HELL no he wasn't doing that. Any other time would have been good, _great, awesome, _any time but now. Tsurugi loved Shindou-senpai's laugh, it was a rare gem, really, but not now. Diamond wasn't precious when you used it to kill someone. Like Tsurugi. Tsurugi was being cut to pieces by Shindou-senpai's barely-suppressed giggle, and it was NOT funny.

Oh, you know what, to hell with the '-senpai'. Takuto was being extremely (cute) **dumb**, and Tsurugi would have none of it. He was going to do something about it.

He took long strides up the isle to Takuto's desk, cape- "Is that kid wearing a poncho?"- flowing behind him. Pet-kun touched it hesitantly. Tsurugi didn't really care, but made a mental note to wash it as soon as he got home.

As he approached Takuto's desk, he stopped. The captain was not only laughing even harder now, he wasn't even making an effort to hide it. His laughter filled the room, and the tears in his eyes were certainly NOT about soccer. The rest of the class burst into laughter as well, with Pet-kun and his Mistress simply staring in shock.

Tsurugi just stood there, body temperature suddenly deciding to set the core of the sun as its role model.

An asshole called out from the back. "What're you going to do, water that bouquet with your sweat?"

Tsurugi would've punched him if his hand wasn't crumpling wrapping paper instead. He felt a little guilty, but these flowers were done for anyways.

He walked the last few steps to Takuto's desk, head down. What was the plan again? Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

He stopped when he realized there was no more space to travel, and that he had almost stepped on his captain's shoes. Oh god just a little more space please, just a little more time, I'm sure I can recall this plan if I just have a moment just give me a sec one more sec one more

He looked up and he really shouldn't have because oh god he was _that _close to him what should he do oh god oh god

"Are you going to do anything?" asked Takuto, a little flustered at this point.

Was he? Maybe. He couldn't remember the plan though, nor could he remember how to speak. He couldn't remember what to do. But Takuto was just staring at him, eyes laser beams of confusion. Yeah, Tsurugi was confused too.

He had to get out of here, somehow, had to find some time to think. But he couldn't just run away. He had to have an excuse of some sort, some plot-worthy item-

Oh, right. The flowers. Yeah, he was supposed to give these, or something. So he did, albeit a little too quickly. Takuto accepted them, and there really was no adjective to match the puzzlement on his face.

"Thanks," he said. Tsurugi thought that that was the stupidest reply he had ever heard anyone say. He didn't point it out, though, because he was still speechless.

What now?

Being silenced made it harder to speak, true, but there are more ways to communicate than just with words, right?

He reached out to Takuto and put his arms around him. A hug that looked more like a half-baked murder attempt, it was unbelievably awkward, _they_ were unbelievably awkward, and looking back now, it was kind of a dumb idea anyways.

"You're going to squish this bouquet," Tsurugi heard the captain whisper. It was true, they were pretty much crushing the whole batch of sunflowers, but he didn't care. It wasn't like he'd payed for them anyway.

And so he let go after a few more seconds. It was probably a stupid-looking hug, what with the plastic wrinkled in between them, and the pollen that had rubbed off on Takuto's uniform. His own favourite poncho-**CAPE, **dammit- was covered in powder that would make him sneeze any second now. Tsurugi didn't really care. The story was over, the conclusion was written. It was time for him to leave, mostly because the teacher was, you know, still watching. (goodbye recess)

As he pushed his way past Mrs. Gravelhead (she looked like she peed her pants in more ways than he could imagine) he turned back and saw the captain's blushing little face, powder all over his jacket. He looked like a little baby about to cry, which was actually kind of gross, but for the first time that day, Tsurugi actually laughed.

And he suddenly remembered the plan.

"Oh yeah," he said, finally unmuted. "Happy birthday, Shindou-senpai."

And with that, the epilogue was done.

* * *

**A/N: (Not done yet, I'm afraid.) Hello, thanks for reading all of that :) This was based off of Kayley's headcanon... (kyoutakus is her url on tumblr... as expected)**** or at least it was supposed to be. I don't think it really captured the feeling of the original, but whatever I guess, it's an inspiration, not an aspiration (and also Tsurugi chickening out is better imo lol). And as I found out writing the last fic, I'm not exactly cut out for multichapter, so... expect more oneshots like this. That's all! ;)**

**P.S. I'll try to write something other than KyouTaku in the future. _Try._****  
**


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